We use the word mentor too quickly.
Often what we actually have is one of these:
1. Inspiration from someone whose example sparks us, but who is not engaged in our growth.
2. Instruction from a teacher, boss, or leader giving direction for a task or season.
3. Proximity to someone in our circle whose access feels like guidance, but is not.
4. Friendship built on trust and companionship that sustains us, but without a structured exchange.
All of these matter. But not all are mentorship.
Mentorship is different.
It sharpens. It continues through hard conversations. It matures over time, sometimes into partnership, even friendship.
However, there’s a misconception worth challenging, that mentorship or a mentor is reserved for the older or more senior. Some of the most significant guidance I’ve received has come from peersy and even from those younger than me. Wisdom can move in any direction.
To discern whether it’s truly mentorship, I’ve learned to ask three questions:
- Does this relationship give direction, not just affirmation?
- Will there be continuity, or is it just a single moment?
- Is there room for mutual growth, not one-sided dependence?
When the answer is yes, it could be one mentorship strong enough to outlast titles, seasons, or circumstance.